Most of my posts are light and fluffy little things written about the joys of being a mom.
This one is not. It's raw and it's dark and it's heartwrenching.
One of my kids is hurting and I am drowning in my kid's sea of hurt.
Where is that most beautiful of all newborns?
The kid who nursed much longer than the rest and cried "I just want to be with you, mom" when we were separated?
That kid is locked in a prison of depression, anxiety and anger.
I give this kid's struggles to God then take them back knowing all the time that my keys don't fit the lock.
We are seeking help, doing what we can. We don't know if it is enough or right or anything else.
There it is. The dark side of motherhood. Loving until it nearly kills you.